Thursday, 4 August 2011

堕落論、無頼派 vs willful determination and supernatural belief.

Time to bid farewell to my 不健康な habit, back to civilization and mind discipline.

The sky was so nice and calm today. The signalling of rain.
Birds chirped and cicada with their 例のchanting.

Transition to a temporary phase of unwelcomed solitude has subjected me to a kind of sentimentalism. Nothing but a masturbation of one's own emotions, a tendency to lament it just for the sake of self-regard.

But how can i ever fail to notice the blueness of the sky, the greennish of the grass?

Lifting my melancholy lethargic state to a more active pursuit of literary enlightenment requires nothing but a will of the mind, a necessity to separate oneself from the addictive cyberworld.

Must adopt a more Apollonian stance on things. With hindsight, that experience on the beach was but sheer foolishness - one encourage by drinking and indulgence, and physical proximity of the opposite sex. Let it be nice memory to cherish, looking back on a well-spent student life. If there is fate, paths will cross.

No I'm subjecting myself to a greater Other to spin out a narrative for me. One too often does. It helps the unconsoled mind, relying on some supernatural, unknown power. I am.

Well, for now.

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